


In which Dave walks in on Karkat singing to the mirror and ironic teasing ensues

by Ramach



Series: ==> Dave & Karkat: Be roommates. Have shenanigans. [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:39:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2575142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramach/pseuds/Ramach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Set in a post-game AU where the kids and trolls are deposited on Earth after the game ended.</p>
<p>I've been listening to a lot of Broadwaystuck, specifically Broadway Karkat, and the songs "Strider Be Mine", "GFDI Dave" and "Karkalicious" inspired this. I don't even know I'm just shipping Davekat so much lately and I feel bad for not writing anything in like forever; currently in the final exam period of my high school life so I'm a bit stressed out and I guess this helps a bit.</p>
<p>Possibly more silly Davekat shorts on the way, no promises because I'm really bad at keeping them.</p>
<p>*retreats back into cave*</p></blockquote>





	In which Dave walks in on Karkat singing to the mirror and ironic teasing ensues

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: HEY, DUMBASS.  
CG: EARTH TO STRIDER.  
CG: HEY FUCKASS LISTEN TO ME.  
TG: oh hey man sorry i was busy laying down some sick fires  
TG: you know how it is  
TG: i get all caught up in jotting down these dope rhymes and listening to my hella beats and i just zone out  
CG: YEAH, THAT PRETTY MUCH SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT BUT WHATEVER.  
CG: LISTEN, COULD YOU GO OUT FOR A WHILE?  
TG: fuck man you dont want to take a shower again do you  
CG: SHUT UP  
TG: im just sayin bro its pretty weird  
TG: like every goddamn time i sit down to get some shit done its like  
TG: oh sorry karkat wants to take a shower  
TG: fuck off for a while please  
TG: why cant you shower when im in the building  
TG: answer me  
CG: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST CAN WE NOT DO THIS.  
CG: I JUST WANT TO HAVE A GODDAMN SHOWER AND GO TO BED YOU INCONSIDERATE NOOKSTAIN.  
TG: but why do i have to be gone seriously what do you do in there  
TG: must be some seriously kinky shit  
CG: FUCK OFF STRIDER  
CG: WHY DON'T YOU GO GET SOME FOOD OR SOMETHING I DON'T REMEMBER YOU HAVING ANY LUNCH TODAY.  
TG: gotta keep the kilos down man  
TG: dont wanna lose this godly figure  
CG: OH MY SWEET TROLL JEGUS JUST FUCKING LEAVE PLEASE  
TG: whatever you say man im going to get some chinese

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

* * *

**== > Karkat: Take advantage of this precious time alone.**

Holy fuck he's finally gone. You thought he was never going to fucking leave; he always makes such a big deal over having to go out when you have a shower. You guess it's sort of understandable, but goddamnit you never get the place to yourself any other goddamn time so fuck him. It's not your fault he's always hanging around the apartment being a douche. You're pretty sure the only time he's not at home is when he's out DJing, in the unholy hours of the night when you're fast asleep. Come to think of it when does he ever fucking sleep? You don't think you've seen him actually use his bed for its intended purpose in the entire time you've been roommates. Not that you would watch him sleep of course, that would be fucking weird.

You wait in your room for a few more minutes and listen carefully for any sound of movement just to make sure he's definitely gone. You never know with Strider; in fact listening is probably useless anyway because he could easily sneak up on you or just flash step out of fucking nowhere after all those years of strife with his Bro. Nevertheless, you listen until you're sure there's no-one but you in the apartment and open your door cautiously. Sure enough, the lounge room is empty and you breathe a sigh of relief as you grab your towel and head over to the bathroom.

You pull your iPod out of your pocket and plug it into the portable speakers before getting undressed. Dave bought it for you as a "moving in" present when he decided to take you in after the game ended. You were glad he offered; even though you like to think you hate his guts you were still a lonely troll with nowhere to go and on a planet you were completely unfamiliar with. You thought the gesture was nice and you kept it even though you told him it looked like a cheap piece of shit. You wonder if he knows your outbursts aren't totally sincere or if he actually thinks you're a massive bulgelicking nooksniffer. You suppose he wouldn't have asked you to live with him if the latter were true.

All thoughts of Strider vanish as you turn on the hot water tap and step under the shower-head. The water hits your bare skin and you sigh in relief; you'd never realised how gross sopor slime was as a method of bodily cleansing until you found out about this human ritual called a "shower". You'd never considered the thought of water being used for anything other than drinking or swimming in, but you quickly decided that it was far superior to diving into your recuperacoon. Since that day showers have been your way of relaxing after a long and stressful day, as well as an excuse to get Strider out of the house while you indulge one of your more surreptitious guilty pleasures.

" _Fergalicious definition makes them boys go loco,_ " you begin singing to yourself as you run your hands through your hair, massaging your scalp and feeling your headache disappear.

You've never told or done it within earshot of anyone, not even your lusus, but you love singing. It takes your mind off everything else and just for a little while you can pretend to be something else, someone other than an angry, hot-blooded troll with a colourful vocabulary and a lot of pent-up aggression. Since your arrival on Earth you've heard a lot of different music, and since you got your iPod from Dave you've been collecting some different songs that you like. One of them happens to be _Fergalicious_ by the Black Eyed Peas, and you've been learning the lyrics over the past couple of days. You don't know why you like it, but you don't really care. Your music is for you and no-one else, that's why you only sing alone and why you always have headphones in when you're listening to music around other people.

You turn the shower off after a couple of minutes because Dave has told you hot water is limited and apparently costs a lot. You step out and dry yourself off with your towel, wrapping it around your waist as you look into the mirror and fix your hair. You run the brush through your thick black mess, taking care to avoid your horns, while the song begins to close.

" _Aye, aye, aye, aye... aye, aye, aye, aye..._ " you sing along with Fergie.

"So you're t-t-t-tasty, tasty, huh?" asks a familiar voice.

You screech and whirl around to face Dave Strider standing in the doorway to the bathroom, holding a bag of chinese food. "I got you some, but I can see you're busy."

He ducks as your hairbrush hurtles towards him and flies over his head.

* * *

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TG: hey  
TG: you there  
TG: cmon man its been like 3 days and you havent said a word to me  
TG: are you alright in there  
TG: i dont think that chinese was enough to last 72 hours  
TG: hello  
TG: kaaaaaaaaaaarkat  
TG: come on bro  
TG: please  
CG: YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING ASSHOLE.  
TG: there we go  
CG: YOU IRREPUTABLE, ARROGANT, DISRESPECTFUL, SNEAKY FUCKING SON OF A BITCH. FUCK YOU IN EVERY HOLE YOU'VE GOT AND I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON WHAT EVER PHALLIC OBJECT YOU HAPPEN TO FIND IN YOUR MOUTH IN THE NEAR FUTURE.  
TG: man thats not as poetic as your usual insults  
TG: that would never work in a rap cmon man youre like my main source of material what am i supposed to do with this garbage  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: YOU.  
TG: come on man i heard you singing in the shower  
TG: big deal everyone does that  
TG: its nothing to be ashamed of  
CG: YOU DIDN'T JUST FUCKING HEAR ME.  
CG: YOU CAME TO THE FUCKING DOOR AND STOOD THERE LIKE A FUCKING PERVERT AND WATCHED ME.  
CG: THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?  
TG: idk man i just wanted to see what was up  
TG: thought you might have been dying in there or something  
CG: FUCK YOU.  
TG: yeah i got that part  
TG: look man im sorry if you just told me why you wanted to be alone while you shower i would have understood  
TG: i would have given you a few extra minutes before i got home or something  
CG: WELL NOW YOU FUCKING KNOW AND I'LL BE LUCKY IF I CAN EVER SHOWER AGAIN AFTER THAT.  
CG: I DON'T FEEL SAFE IN MY FUCKING HOME ANYMORE.  
TG: dude im not going to do it again  
TG: funnily enough your weird grey skin isnt exactly the first thing i want to see when i get home  
TG: i saw you were using that ipod i got you though  
TG: i thought you hated that thing  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING.  
TG: its ironic duh  
TG: ive been thinking though  
TG: i think i could make a remix of that song you were singing  
TG: youre actually not that bad by the way  
CG: FUCK NO.  
TG: aw come on man i even have a sweet title and everything  
TG: you know you want to hear it  
TG: come on you cant resist  
CG: UGH FUCK WHAT IS IT?  
TG: i knew it  
TG: i knew youd bite  
TG: alright get this  
TG: if youre standing up take a fucking seat because this is going to make you leap out of it in sheer fucking amazement  
CG: OUT WITH IT STRIDER.  
TG: okay  
TG: "karkalicious"  
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG]

TG: hahaha oh yeah im totally doing this

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a post-game AU where the kids and trolls are deposited on Earth after the game ended.
> 
> I've been listening to a lot of Broadwaystuck, specifically Broadway Karkat, and the songs "Strider Be Mine", "GFDI Dave" and "Karkalicious" inspired this. I don't even know I'm just shipping Davekat so much lately and I feel bad for not writing anything in like forever; currently in the final exam period of my high school life so I'm a bit stressed out and I guess this helps a bit.
> 
> Possibly more silly Davekat shorts on the way, no promises because I'm really bad at keeping them.
> 
> *retreats back into cave*


End file.
